Ino's Chokehold
by Spuffy is a -gasp- XemoX
Summary: 12 years after the Chunin exams and Ino has a weird epiphany. And this epiphany leads to her turning into Cupid. Mature for later. Pairings inside. Yaoi in future, so beware...so close to crack i can feel it.


I know this is like my ninth story. Ok, it is my ninth story. I deleted one if you're double-checking my stories. But I have this continuous flow of ideas and if I don't get them out, I'll be pissy and won't do well in school. And then I have to blame it on you people, because you're so needy saying "Please update, or I'll hate you're guts forever and shoot you in a McDonalds parking lot." Okay, no one, I repeat, NO ONE, wants to be shot in a McDonalds parking lot. Wendy's is different; you can shoot me down in a Wendy's parking lot.

Whoa, I just went completely off track there. Sorry about that. This is my first Naruto story. I got into it on the Fourth of July and have been following it ever since. Pretty cool shiznit right there. Ok, so I'm a slash fan girl, if you don't already know that. I also love to put in emotional lovey-dovey moments; you won't see that in my other fics except this one. So combine all that stuff and a sappy script written by an emo 13 year old from Idaho, and you have this story. Not all the couples are slash just so you know.

Enjoy…review and you get pocky and a bright shiny new penny!

The Pairings List (whee! O yes, its quite unexpected): Gaara/Naruto, Sasuke/Lee, Neji/Kiba, ShikamaruxSakura, Shino/Kankuro, InoxHerself (hahahaha, she's very obsessed with herself in this story but basically plays matchmaker for everyone.)

And the title is based on the Gym Class Heroes song, Cupid's Chokehold. O yeah, and so you're not all grossed out, they're all like 25 or 26.

Ino's Chokehold Chapter

_ 1: Somewhere Over the Rainbow_

/Ino's POV/

I put my favorite movie in the world in the DVD player(1) and pressed play with much anticipation. I sat down on my ridiculously oversized bed. Now this bed isn't a super fluffy pink bed, it has more style than that. It has white sheets and a deep dark pretty blue comforter and matching colored pillows. Ever since the Chunin Exams things have been going great for everyone. Well, not at first. Things were really rocky after Orochimaru was killed along with Lord Hokage, I also heard that Sasuke lost Gaara in a fight they had. Now you may be saying, he lost to Gaara. No, Kankuro and Temari had ambushed them in the middle of the fight and Sasuke couldn't find Gaara. The villages were very separated after that point, for about a year. Until Iruka-sama, bless him, took the position for three years, until well…Uzumaki Naruto finally achieved what he wanted. He became the Sixth Hokage(2), at the age of 17. Naruto is actually, and I can't believe these words are actually being thought, a really good Hokage. I think I just shuddered a bit. O, there goes Dorothy riding her bike down a gray brown road with the little dog trailing behind.

There was a very loud crack outside. I looked out a now foggy windowpane. Why don't I notice these things earlier? I watched as the rain lightly dripped its way down the glass. I could have used a better adjective like danced, or slipped or some other super expressive crap like that. But as I paid closer attention to how the little droplets moved it reminded me of my friends. How each one was different, how each one was faster or slower than the others, it completely and totally reminded me of them. I continued to watch the paths of the little droplets of liquid seemingly crying on to the glass.

_Somewhere over the rainbow_

_Way up high_

_There's a land I heard of_

_Once in a lullaby_

In every batch of rain that landed on the glass, only ten of them showed a specific pattern. The ten would land at the same time but slip down at different speeds, but eventually five would collide with the one closest. From 10 to 5, just…like…that.

_Somewhere over the rainbow_

_Skies are blue_

_And the dreams that you dare to dream_

_Really do come true_

Now I started watching the 5 groups. Okay, wait, why is this happening to me. What drugs am I on to be seeing this. Or am I turning into Kakashi and hyper-analyzing everything. Or I am meant to see this by a higher power. For now, I'm gonna go with what's behind door number one, I'm high.

_Some day I'll wish upon a star _

_And wake up where the clouds are far behind me _

_Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops_

_That's where you'll find me_

After watching the first, second, and third groups I concluded a lot. The first group was far different than the others. Both droplets of group one were very far from the other four and were smaller but faster. They probably had more power than the others. Much more power than anyone perceives by looking alone. Naruto and Gaara were the only names practically screaming through my head. And yes the screaming hurt for all those who wanted to know. The only group that was faster than Naruto's and Gaara's were the second. Now who showed the greatest amount of speed during the Chunin Exams, that's right Uchiha Sasuke and Rock Lee. The third group was always slower than Naruto's droplet. I really had to think hard for those two.

_Somewhere over the rainbow_

_Bluebirds fly_

_Birds fly over the rainbow_

_Why then, oh why can't I?_

The two contestants who lost to Naruto, Hyuuga Neji and Inuzuka Kiba were the third group. The fourth group was by far the strangest, the both moved in very complex patterns. They seemed like the smartest group. O no, Haruno Sakura and my very own teammate Nara Shikamaru. Now for the fifth and final group, they had to be the most obvious if these groups were showing patterns that followed what happened during the Chunin Exams. These droplets came together after all the others had. If you're asking who, you're retarded, but I will tell you anyway: Aburame Shino and Gaara's puppet master brother Kankuro.

_If happy little bluebirds fly_

_Beyond the rainbow_

_Why oh why can't I?_

I am now determined to put these couples together. I have a feeling that I am not high and this is a sign that makes me Cupid for these couples. I need to put these people together. But how, Sakura is somewhere in the Sound Village doing whatever. No one knows where Gaara is. Neji and Sasuke are, well no one really knows about them either. Kankuro is probably with Gaara so that's two birds with one stone. This is going to be damn near impossible if I even try it. But the sign came to me, and only me! I need to bring them together no matter what!

* * *

So it appears that Ino is far more determined than Naruto would ever dream to be. We can only pray for her plan to work.

Chapter 2: 12 Years Missing

Ino sends Naruto off to find Gaara. Naruto finds him, but Gaara isn't doing as well as he thought.

By the way, I am working on some stories too. If you're one of my readers, I'm working on The Second Cursed Family and Corruption (the evil Tohru story).

(1) I decided to bring the Naruto series into the 21st century.

(2) Remember that there was 4 Hokages in the series, and in my fanon Iruka was 5th and then Naruto was 6th. Just so you know.


End file.
